Step Beyond Your Comfort Zone
Why Discomfort Actually Makes Us Happier
Research from Yale University suggests that challenging ourselves and stepping beyond our comfort zone is associated with greater happiness and wellbeing.
Growth and positive stress (what researchers call eustress) stimulate our brains in ways that build resilience and confidence.
Confidence isn’t built by thinking about doing hard things. It’s built by doing them. Each time you face something uncomfortable and survive it, your nervous system recalibrates. What once felt threatening becomes manageable. Then normal. Then easy.
That’s how a comfort zone expands.
The Gentle Exposure Method (That Actually Works)
The mistake most of us make is trying to leap from zero to terrifying.
Instead, try this:
Write down the things you’ve been avoiding or secretly wanting to try.
Rate each one from 0–100 on a discomfort scale: 0 = barely uncomfortable | 100 = absolutely terrifying
Start with the 20–30 range.
This might be:
Trying a new café instead of your usual one.
Taking a different walking route.
Posting something honest on social media.
Saying no to something you usually say yes to.
The key is this: approach, don’t avoid. Avoidance shrinks your world. Approach expands it.
Each small action tells your brain, “I can handle this.”
For Women in Midlife - Why This Matters Even More
Many women over 40 have spent decades prioritising everyone else. We become capable. Reliable. Responsible. But somewhere along the way, we can become cautious.
Menopause, career shifts, children growing up, ageing parents - midlife often demands change whether we volunteer for it or not. And here’s the uncomfortable truth: growth rarely feels neat. If we don’t choose small, intentional discomforts, life tends to hand us bigger ones. As I often say, if you don’t take care of your wellness, you’ll be forced to take care of your illness.
Strong boundaries. Strong health. Strong self-trust. All of it requires stepping into unfamiliar territory at times.
Getting Comfortable with Discomfort
This doesn’t mean reckless action or unrealistic pressure.
It means:
Starting small.
Noticing when you’re making excuses.
Letting your expectations be human.
Focusing on what went right rather than what felt awkward.
Failure isn’t evidence you shouldn’t have tried. It’s evidence you’re stretching.
I once had a tennis coach who said, “You learn nothing from winning all the time.” At the time I found that deeply irritating. Now I understand – when we fail, we learn. Growth requires friction.
Watch the Excuses
Pay attention to the subtle avoidance phrases:
“Now isn’t the right time.”
“I need to be more prepared.”
“Other people are better at that.”
“I’ll do it when I feel more confident.”
Confidence comes after the action, not before it.
Imposter syndrome often shows up when you’re expanding. That’s not a red flag, it’s usually a sign you’re growing.
Keep It Kind
There’s a difference between stretching yourself and punishing yourself.
Start with low-level discomfort. Move gradually. Celebrate progress. Rest when needed. Strong doesn’t mean harsh. It means steady.
What Are You Avoiding?
Booking the appointment?
Starting strength training?
Joining a group?
Saying no?
Writing the thing?
Launching the idea?
Or maybe it’s simply believing you’re capable. Your comfort zone is not your identity. It’s just your current edge. And edges can move.
If you’re navigating midlife and sensing there’s more available to you - more energy, more confidence, more strength - you don’t have to figure it out on your own.
At Balsam Natural Health, I support women through midlife with personalised, realistic strategies that build resilient health, steady energy and the kind of self-trust that makes change feel possible, not overwhelming.
If you’re ready to step just beyond what feels comfortable and into what’s possible for your body and your future, you’re warmly welcome to get in touch or book a consultation.
Sometimes the most powerful shift isn’t dramatic, it’s choosing to act a little braver, a little sooner, and allowing your comfort zone to expand with you.